Clear is Kind

I was a bit late to the Brene Brown party but when I learned about all her vulnerability research and conclusions, I was immediately hooked.

I especially appreciated the "CLEAR IS KIND, UNCLEAR IS UNKIND" slogan which I guess she first heard from a 12-step Alcoholics Anonymous meeting 20 yrs ago.

When I was in leadership as a medical director, I had to give and receive a lot of feedback. And I had to learn how to do it effectively, quickly. I was there to support and build team morale, not wreck it. Brene's "Dare to Lead" book showed me how vulnerability can be a true superpower.

When I first started, I was often tentative and unsure of how to proceed. I had a lot of self-doubt and was afraid of what people would say or think about me. I had an idea what a manager looked like and tried to act that way. Which didn't work that well because I wasn't being authentically me. I was being unclear and unkind. And I'm so grateful I learned this lesson early on so that I could actually show up as myself and truly be of service instead of letting my inner critic and imposter syndrome go crazy and drag me down.

"Clear is Kind" resonates with me in so many other ways as well. I think about past situations with family when I would feel bad to set boundaries and said yes when I really wanted to say no. Or when I would date a guy and not speak up about what I like or dislike and then secretly fume when he didn't get it, I mean, wasn't it obvious?! 🙄🤪😅 I realized I was afraid to set clear expectations for fear of rejection and discomfort but I was only hurting myself because I wasn't honoring my needs.

This is powerful because when you are clear and direct, you are coming from a place of TRUTH. People may disagree with what you have to share, but you know and trust that there is a reason for your request. We are often conditioned to think that we have to be and act a certain way to be accepted and deserve love.

I invite you to ask yourself, how can I be more clear in my day today? How can I show up authentically and truly honor myself and my needs? Because you are SO worth it! ❤️