Updated: Jul 14, 2021
My last serious relationship ended a while ago. We were together for a few years and I really enjoyed his company. He had many qualities I hadn't encountered before such as being very patient, easygoing, calm, open-minded, non-judgmental, etc. Qualities that made me feel safe and comfortable. But it didn't work out. Why? Various reasons but partly because it was long-distance and he was still trying to figure out his future. I was really sad but knew it was for the better. I had to clear space for better things, right?
Well, once I picked up the pieces and decided to give dating another shot, the same guy showed up. Not literally but very similar. He was nice but I was about to move so it was going to be another long-distance, and he was also still figuring out his future. At this point, I finally took time to question, what is going on? What is wrong with me that I'm attracting all these chill guys with no clear path to their futures?!
And then I finally took a look inside. And realized it was me. The part of me that was so wounded and traumatized from the false belief that I wasn't wanted or enough. The part of me that got so heartbroken when I was young and the guy chose to focus on his future instead of me and us. The part of me that was afraid to love and receive love. I put up these walls because I didn't want or let anyone get too close. I was scared to be vulnerable. I was scared to get hurt and rejected again.
Little did I know, by doing so, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy as I wasn't being open to attract the healthy relationship I really wanted and deserved. I'm sharing because I really don't think we recognize how powerful our thoughts are. Especially when most of them are unconscious. Our thoughts create our reality. Are you choosing the best thoughts that are setting you up for an amazing life?